Sometimes a big life change can be easy
Dear Kindred Spirit,
When my husband and I moved to Portugal, I was convinced I would be wildly homesick. I thought I would be disoriented, overwhelmed, and anxious.
We were moving to a new country, and I had never done that before. I had, however, done one very big move before this—from New Hampshire to California.
Moving away from New England for the first time completely unmoored me. I was homesick, scared, and lost. I didn’t feel settled in California until one and a half years after living there.
When we decided to move to Portugal, I fully expected to experience the same turmoil, and I prepared for it.
I packed my favorite cozy books that I could turn to when I was depressed.
I asked my friends to be on standby for meltdowns.
I gave myself permission to be as sad as I needed to be.
However, when we arrived here, I felt fine. Good even. Dare I say happy. I felt an immediate sense of calm, and we settled very quickly.
Of course, there were some stressful things that happened. When we arrived, there was no electricity or internet in our apartment even though we had set it up, and we were thrown into the red tape of the utilities system. I also had a moment or two of overwhelm standing in the grocery store deciphering ingredients for my dairy and gluten intolerance.
When you move to a new country small challenges can feel like mountains, but even though we came across challenges, I was ok in a way I did not expect to be.
Being in Portugal calmed my nervous system. It was soothing to be here, and I didn’t feel homesick. I didn’t melt down.
I loved walking to the farmer’s market everyday to pick up fresh fish and veggies for dinner. I loved walking to the river and listening to my husband talk about all the boats on the water. I loved stepping outside on my balcony to watch life in the plaza below.
I’ve experienced many life changes. I had to go no-contact with my family of origin. I’ve changed careers. I’ve broken up with narcissists, and I got sober from alcohol. To name just a few.
All of these changes were necessary. Each one a step on my path toward authenticity and living a healthy life. But they were also really hard.
They were like The Tower card in the tarot. Big, dramatic, important life changes where a part of my life burnt to the ground. And it needed to burn. It was for the best, but it was also tough on my nervous system. There was grief, fear, and the desire to go back to how things were.
That’s what I expected with Portugal. Both my husband and I wanted this change. It was good for us, and I knew we’d be better for it. But I also expected it to be a Tower experience with hard feelings and complications.
Instead, it was like the Tower card in the reversed position. This was a big life change, but it was gentle. Easy. Simple.
We both noticed how quickly we settled here, and how wonderful and easeful it felt.
This was a significant life lesson for me. I didn’t know big changes could feel gentle, but it turns out sometimes they can. Sometimes a transition can flow like a brook instead of a crashing waterfall.
Now my body and nervous system will remember that this is possible, too, and my hope is for you to put this on your list of possibilities as well.
Sometimes the universe can send us down an easy path.
Love,
Emma
Hi, I’m Emma Basu. I’m a writer, tarot card reader, and book lover. My soul’s work is to help you find clarity amongst the chaos, meaning in the mundane, and purpose in your life’s winding journey.
Disclaimer: This blog is a resource guide for educational and informational purposes only and should not take the place of hiring a life coach, a therapist, or of seeking medical attention. No information on this blog creates a coach-client relationship between us. You are fully responsible for the decisions and actions you take in regard to your life and affairs.